Last night was

 

I was somewhere that was supposed to be school but there where bars everywhere and it felt like I was trapped and also nasty stuff was going on. Some friends of mine where there  specially one of my friends from school, he had a band and they were playing music in one the rooms ,she was there looking angelical and of course being the object of my obsession, somebody had a camera and took a picture of her but I destroyed it right after.

I found this messing around an old computer

Oh how I wonder what's behind this velvet rope

what really makes this thing go round

who am I shaming now?

what if stopping is not the answer

so many questions

so little time

under a microscope are we?

this is not possible

only a sadist would let us wonder around

like headless chickens stepping on heads

he must look away

dead subject, its never enough

maybe next time we can do better

like lost words in a muffled mouth

but maybe next time it will be found

the things that make us monsters and heroes

maybe that's what he wants

balance

promise you will say when my face starts to change

you will let me go into the circle

you will tell me what to say

he says he loves me but

all I feel is despair

sends me into the desert with an empty canteen

and millions of bottles with sand in them

sure some sand is grey others are yellow

but sand is always sand

maybe I'm going crazy

maybe I'm crazy already

here I am sitting in silence while

the screams keep me entertained

my screams, the worst one that you can't hear

if you begin to flake and your body tires

don't worry the desert will help you

it's comforting to sit

to feel the sand on your back

but don't stay too long or sand you will become

buried under the desert is a river of emotions

that sit still and never surface

because the desert is bigger

always rising more and more

A sea of fire